We’ve been lucky enough to get a preview of the mouth-watering delights on offer at the Food Festival this weekend. Here are our top five vendors that you really must brave the queues for!
Oleg’s Serbian Grill
Exotic cuts of ‘non-traditional’ meat, served in the traditional Serbian manner – unseasoned on a plain slice of dry white bread. The brilliant simplicity of the presentation allows the character of the meat to shine through. No foodie worth their salt will want to miss out on Oleg’s Own Hand-Finished Tortoise Cutlet. No change given.
British Bulldog Burger
Ken and Deb Clitheroe are passionate about sourcing the best of pure British burgers. Every burger they sell can be traced back to the original Kwiksave bargain aisle freezer that they were purchased from. All garnishes & condiments are guaranteed to not conform to any of those traitorous EU laws and directives! Get the ‘Pride Of Blighty’ for £12, or treat yourself to the ‘Bumper Boris’, a triple burger topped with dried hay – just £20.
Saucy Devils – Conceptual Artisan Sauce
For the Saucy Devils crew, the joy of their sauce lies in the painstaking production process. They trawl motorway service stations, roadside cafes, greasy spoons and workplace canteens for sachets of tomato ketchup. All of these sachets are then squeezed into huge drum at their Hoxton HQ, mixed up using sandalwood canoe paddles and deposited into 50cl jars featuring artwork produced by death row prisoners. Prices are means-tested according to the quality of your footwear and start from £35 a jar.
Crystal Lake Cocktail Cabin
Served from a none-more ironic, repurposed festival toilet, party girls Katti and Patti provide specially ‘super-hydrated’ Mojito Drenchers. These cocktails have been scientifically supplemented with extra water to help you party harder and longer. You pay a little extra for all that science, but you’ll be knocked out by the unique presentation – each drink is served in a repurposed Marmite jar (deposit required).
Going plant-based doesn’t mean that you must have boring food! Earth mother Tamsin Hennington-Browton blasts her tempting vegetable broth with a top secret, searing, chilli mix. The effect is so profound that – although Tamsin has filled her food with all the finest, ethically sourced ingredients – you could be forgiven that you have paid a tenner for an off-brand vegetable cup-a-soup with a tablespoon of chilli powder in and not realise it. Powerful and earth-saving stuff.