Grab yourself the electronic versions of You Must Conquer Earth and Everyone You Work With Is a Cunt for less than a pound each from Friday 22nd to Sunday 24th October from Amazon.co.uk.
The ad-hoc anarchist camp/musical festival that now resides in the street outside your flat is just beginning to warm up for the day as you are getting lunch ready. You really, really, really hope that there is less angry poetry today.
The Range Rover must have gone over a speed bump far too fast. You bounce up from the plushly carpeted boot floor with a mild tearing noise as a chunk of your sticky, syrup sodden eyebrow decides to stay where it is rather than join the rest of you on your brief vertical journey.
“You are in a lot of trouble here and you don’t see how it could get any worse. Then a floaty, jazzy cover version of Anarchy in the UK comes floating out of the coffee shop speakers and you realise that, of course, things can always get worse.”
No one on the breakfast TV can quite hide their excitement. At the surprisingly well attended opening of a new wing of the imperial war museum last night, the Prime Minister was pelted with what the press is describing as ‘at least two hundred milk-based beverages’.
After 24 hours of trying to cope with the digital tsunami that engulfed you after posting the picture of Milo the cat – you decide to adopt a new communications strategy. A strategy that will involve as little communication as possible.
The winning choice from episode 1 of You Must Bring Down The Government is:
Through your messy aniseed tears, DM Pierce Brosnan with a witty: “Ah Mr Bond, I’ve been expecting you.”
Announcing a new, somewhat experimental, weekly, interactive serial – where you (yes, you) will decide where a twisted tale of subversive misadventure will lead.
The new Leamington Underground book, You Must Conquer Earth, the gamebook of planetary domination can now be pre-ordered in kindle
If, like certain people, you’ve just found out that you need to stay in the house this evening – never fear, you can enjoy the latest Leamington Underground Remote Control Film Night from 8pm on Facebook or Twitter. It is completely free, totally tax-deductible, hypo-allergenic and entirely recycled.