The Range Rover must have gone over a speed bump far too fast. You bounce up from the plushly carpeted boot floor with a mild tearing noise as a chunk of your sticky, syrup sodden eyebrow decides to stay where it is rather than join the rest of you on your brief vertical journey.
“You are in a lot of trouble here and you don’t see how it could get any worse. Then a floaty, jazzy cover version of Anarchy in the UK comes floating out of the coffee shop speakers and you realise that, of course, things can always get worse.”
No one on the breakfast TV can quite hide their excitement. At the surprisingly well attended opening of a new wing of the imperial war museum last night, the Prime Minister was pelted with what the press is describing as ‘at least two hundred milk-based beverages’.
After 24 hours of trying to cope with the digital tsunami that engulfed you after posting the picture of Milo the cat – you decide to adopt a new communications strategy. A strategy that will involve as little communication as possible.
Given that you are a cowardly introvert with a huge aversion to any kind of conflict or violence, it comes as quite a surprise to you that you’ve settled on ‘violent overthrow’ as the best way forward…