This is part 4 of a weekly interactive story, links to earlier parts can be found below:
The most popular choice for continuing the story was:
Photoshop a beret onto the picture of Milo the cat, maybe a moustache too. Caption it with ‘MILO HATE GIEVRNMENT’ and then tweet it out with the message: “Join Milo and bring down the #GIEVRNMENT – #justdoit #smashthesystem.”
Part 4: This Revolution Will Definitely Be Televised
After 24 hours of trying to cope with the digital tsunami that engulfed you after posting the picture of Milo the cat – you decide to adopt a new communications strategy. A strategy that will involve as little communication as possible.
First you unfollow everyone on Twitter, with the notable exception of Pierce Brosnan. This almost instantly leads to a worldwide effort, by people with nothing better to do, to create the best Milo/Pierce mashup content. Pierce himself posts a video of his infamous singing in Mamma Mia intercut with the now famous image of Milo staring in silence. “Hahaha! Lol! Who said I was strangling a cat? #MILO #GIEVRNMENT”, tweets Pierce.
Next you spend an hour, deleting, or at least suspending every other social media presence you have, it’s a fairly sparse footprint to be honest. Oh look, Myspace still exists! Who knew?
Your email inbox is just a total state. Looks like Hotmail suspended it a few hours ago due to the mad level of traffic. You spend ten minutes considering how to deal with it, decide it will take weeks and knock it on the head. You put a handful of emails from mainstream media outlets into a folder and delete everything else.
You delete everything that has gone into your voicemail and then turn it off entirely. Next you text your meagre circle of actual contacts “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Going dark, will be in touch soon.”
You toggle the options to turn off the telephony on your phone. For the first time in what seems like ages, your room is completely silent. You breathe, stretch, relax and glance at the laptop where your twitter account is now up to 3.4 million followers and rising.
Your head reacts like like an especially flammable vampire to the brightness of the early afternoon sunshine, recoiling in horror at the annoying illumination of all that natural light. Eyes watering in the slight breeze, you breathe deep and nearly choke as your system attempts to re-adjust to fresh air.
By the time you return from the shops with a rucksack full of books on Marxism and revolutionary wars from the library, a pay as you go brick phone and foot-long meatball Subway successfully procured, you feel almost normal – yesterday’s hangover seems to have released its oily grip on your major and minor bodily functions.
Milo looks slightly less annoyed than usual as you settle onto the sofa, you quickly grab a few pics for future usage then promise to reward him with some tuna for being so popular. The world famous cat celebrates by licking his arsehole.
An extremely cursory flick through your haul of revolutionary literature over the course of the afternoon results in two main lessons:
One: It is almost impossible to effectively remove Subway meatball sauce from printed materials without making far more of a mess
Two: That you probably need to go for a ‘popular mass revolt’ type of revolution as opposed to some sort of coup or civil war, firstly because you don’t have access to an army and secondly because you’d rather not go down as one of history’s greatest monsters if you can help it.
Your new burner phone is fully charged up and ready to go. You transfer in your handful of main contacts and ping them your new number, then you add the contact numbers from the media emails you saved earlier. With that you new communication strategy is complete.
It is now 7pm, so you’re probably not going to get much revolution done this evening. You’ve got a shift at the bookshop tomorrow and while you should really be fermenting societal discord, you could use the cash as you’ve just spent £100 on a phone and top up cards.
Still, you should probably issue another communique, so that everyone else can start being revolutionary while you are otherwise engaged. You grab your laptop and compose a new message…
(So far you have bought down 0.001% of the government. No change from last time)
What will your second Milo communique say?